New Slingbag
Dress
Sunday, March 8, 2009
I think life is a bore. I finally realised that my life is running like a conveyor belt, or even the production factory belt. It is just repeating itself over and over and over again. And this stupid cycle will NEVER stop. I really dont know what to do to get a life. Nothing helps, i really don't want to live my life like a machine. I feel enpty inside. Just like a durian husk with nothing inside. I just don't know why. Its those kind of empty feeling, and you dont know what is wrong. Have i been living like this for 15 years. Its too long, and i am not doing anything at all. How the heck am I supposed to find time to do what I love, do what I want. And not what i must do. Why can i just stop the conveyor belt so that i can get out of the cycle. So that i can live the life that i want.
Today's Junior Cat session really stuck me. I have such a boring life. What is wrong? Is there a problem with my time management or what. I just can't seem to find the fault. This feeling is horrible. How do i manage my life, my study, my CCA and church all at the same time. I know wanting the time to revlove around you is the stupidest thing that one can hope for. Knowing that such thing will never happen. But I just want time away from my studies, my church, my CCA, my hectic lifestyle. All i want is to spend that time with my family like the past and my friends to relax and have fun. Is spending time with your loved ones wrong? Is spending time with your friends wrong?
I want to go back to the past where there isn't anything at all. I want to be able to do the things that i like. I want to go back to that trouble free life. This sucks wholetime. I want never to be empty inside again. I want to love what i do and do what i love.
ITS TIME TO STOP THE CONVEYOR BELT.
I HOPE THAT I WILL BE ABLE TO DO IT.
I am what I am.
But are you what you are or are you a pet with no mind?
I dont know how to tell you what i want to, but this is hurting me.
And i feel that you are a friend no more.
And stop acting like a spoilt brat.
It ain't cool.